We’ve all heard of “van life” and how amazing it is to travel the country like turn-of-the-century circus performers without any of the circus talent and camaraderie, but with all of the living in a narrow shell that moves from town to town. Now, the Intergalactic Business Report explores a trend that provides would be nomads with an even smaller alternative—the pickup truck.
Feel like this lifestyle choice may be for you? We outline below some simple ways to start right now. 1. Obviously, get a pickup truck. The size of this will determine how much living space you have. For example, if you choose a small pickup truck, you will have less room than if you go with a large truck. 2. Once you have the pickup, it’s time to live in it. This requires putting yourself in a situation in which you now wake up and go to bed inside a truck instead of a house or apartment. 3. You’ll probably want some bedding for the truck. You can throw a mattress in the flatbed, because this is the largest area, and also can fit a mattress. One problem is that it can rain, and in that case, your bed will get soaked. If you have blankets and a pillow and other things you sleep with, those could also get extremely wet. If it doesn’t rain, you’re fine. 4. You will have to eat out a lot. This will make it a lot easier than storing food in your truck and preparing it as you either sit on your mattress or in the front seat. If you do choose to prepare food, it can get extremely messy and you may drop some of it on the floor of the truck. We recommend not eating that food. It may have things on it from the floor that could make you sick and if not, it might just have fuzz or something that will not get you sick, but make eating unpleasant. 5. Park your truck somewhere at night. You can’t drive all the time and you can’t sleep in the flatbed if you’re driving (obviously). So park. Find a place where no one will kill you or jump in the flatbed and try to have sex with you. Also, park somewhere you will not be asked by police to move. For instance, don't just pull over on the highway shoulder. 6. Always put gas in your truck. Gas fuels your vehicle, obviously. You need this to move the truck and drive it. Find a gas station and fill the gas tank. We recommend filling it up all the way, if that works for your budget. 7. Pickup Truck Life. Now you’re living it. Maybe say that when people ask you what you’re doing parked in their driveway. 8. Tires. Get those tires checked. Have a spare tire just in case. You can place one on your mattress in the flatbed. When you sleep, you can stand it up so you have room to be there. 9. Oh. When you fill up for gas, use the gas station water thing to clean the windshield. This will make it clearer for you when you drive your home. 10. Pickup Truck life. Call the fucking cops if you don’t want me parking on your fucking lawn, mom. Maybe say that when someone asks why you’re parked on their lawn. |
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November 2024
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