The content writer wouldn’t write our article, “How horny I am right now,” so we did.

I’m so horny right now, by Cedric Bigglestone.
 
 
I’m so horny right now. It’s almost weird. I hope the Taco Bell I’m eating will curb my desires, but it seems to only stoke them more. Here’s my fantasy: I am eating Taco Bell and someone comes in and wants to have sex with me.
 
That’s pretty much it. Whoops. Spilled some taco sauce (mild) on my pants. I need to rub it off, but that will give me a boner. Oh no. I’m rubbing. Didn’t work. Still soft. O.K. I’m out.
 
Goodbye.
 
 
Editor’s note: This is why we needed that content writer to write this. 

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