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Life-changing Insights

11 new Coronavirus symptoms you need to look out for.

6/30/2020

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Recently, the CDC made additions to its list of possible Coronavirus symptoms. The Intergalactic Business Report makes its own list as a supplement.
 
 
POSSIBLE CORONAVIRUS SYMPTOMS:
 
  1. Pre-runny nose. Where you don’t have a runny nose, but it feels possible sometime in the future.
  2. Excessive ball sweat.
  3. You feel good. Like almost too good. 
  4. No shortness of breath, even after running around, and you’re not in great shape or anything, so that’s weird. 
  5. Feeling “normal.”
  6. Feeling “non chilly,” almost like your body temperature is not too high or low.
  7. Your throat feels normal. Almost too normal.
  8. Loss of sense of taste. Example: you start wearing overalls and suspenders and shit like that.
  9. Alcohol starts tasting almost too good. Like you could keep drinking it all night. And you do.
  10. The color of your eyes seem really really that color. 
  11. People like and respect you and think you have something to contribute to humanity.*
 
*This one actually means you’re probably dead.

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