In the age of mobile everything, it seems harder and harder to separate home life from work life. For many of us, the difference between the two is so blurry we have trouble telling where we are. At work? At home? Stop yourself before it’s too late. Read these six warning signs that show you’ve crossed the line.
1. You make out with your boss accidentally, thinking you’re on a date or your honeymoon, or maybe because you’re drunk, because it’s o.k. to be drunk when you’re not at work, only you are at work.
2. At home, you give a powerpoint presentation to your family about how you mowed the lawn. You stayed up all night to do it, because you couldn’t figure out a way to make the subject of lawn mowing interesting to your audience and you really wanted to nail this speech. But you just don't have much content. And really anything to say. So you just sit there and point to the screen that has some clip art of a guy mowing the lawn, except he’s not mowing a lawn. It’s just a picture of Hitler.
3. You start tenderizing and seasoning raw meat on your desk, believing you are in a cooking class, which you signed up to do that weekend. You keep looking for the instructor, who isn’t there, so you keep pounding the meat, till someone asks you why you aren’t on an important conference call. You’re not sure what to do or how to answer, so you just pull down your pants and your co-worker leaves. “Good job,” you think to yourself.
4. You adopt a child from another country, because you want to make a difference in the world and in someone’s life. You take full legal custody of the boy and vow to not make all the mistakes you did with your other kids. Unfortunately, the child you “adopted” is Tony, a forty-nine-year-old office manager, who is terrified of you and asks you to please stop talking to and touching him.
5. You can’t remember if you’re allowed to have pets at work, so you buy one. Your boa constrictor you keep in your filing cabinet is deemed unacceptable by your boss, so you try to pretend it’s clothing and you wear it as a tie, which is also deemed unacceptable. But you also die because the snake strangles you to death.
6. You start calling Brenda, the receptionist, “Mom,” and ask her how to tell if you’re circumcised or not.
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