Since the beginning of time, humans have asked a simple question: “Am I dreaming, or am I actually having a three-way with Snoop Dog and that guy from the 700 Club?” Instead of getting Freddy-Krugered every time you close your eyes, take our simple advice and look for these seven signs you’re in a dream.
1. That celebrity you’ve always hated is hanging out with you and you talk to him about how you’ve always respected him and then you start naming all the movies he was in and how much you liked them even though those are the same movies you reference when you tell all your friends about how much you hate him because he sucks so hard in those movies. And all of this is just evidence of what you’d actually do if you ever ran into a real celebrity. You had one chance to at least tell the guy off in your dream, but instead you sold out even when it was all made up in your head.
2. You’re good at fighting and don’t take shit from anyone.
3. You tell off the asshole who you always wanted to tell off, only the shit you’re saying is stupid, and even though it’s gibberish, the guy is acting like you totally burned him.
4. You’re dating someone who really gets you and isn’t just settling.
5. You’re having sex with your dog but then it’s your boss, but then it’s your dog, and then you’re kissing some celebrity’s ass.
6. You’re taking a test without your shirt on and all the numbers and words on the paper in front of you make absolutely no sense. But you’re not concerned that maybe you’re going to flunk the test or maybe that you’re having a stroke. You’re worried about how you look without your shirt on.
7. You’re watching a movie but you’re also in the movie and keep switching off between watching it and starring in it, but you only star in it when something shitty happens, like a guy with a cow head is going to kill you. When the love interest shows up and wants to have sex, you’re back in your chair, just watching.
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