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Life-changing Insights

Dead giveaways you’re an American or Canadian.

4/19/2022

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If you’re traveling anywhere, locals and other tourists will play a game in which they guess where you’re from. That game becomes more complicated when they need to determine which one of you is American and which one is the uncanny valley version of us known as Canadians. The Intergalactic Business Report gives you the definitive way to tell who’s what, below:
 
 
You are broadcasting your “Americanness” if any of these pertain to you:
 
1. You carry a U.S. passport. 

2. When people ask you where you’re from, you say, “America” or “the United States.” 

3. On your driver’s license, it lists an address in the United States. 

4. You have a driver’s license, and it’s from a state in the United States. 

5. When you go home at night, and you’re not in a foreign country, the place you go is in America. 

6. You’re not allowed to vote in any country other than the U.S.A. 
 
Seven dead giveaways you’re a Canadian citizen:
 
1. You carry with you an unwarranted and unearned smugness and superiority that stifles the air around you. 

2. You act and sound like an American until you don’t and the air suddenly stinks of unearned smugness and superiority. 

3. You’re a beloved American actor/comedian.  

4. Like the devil, you confuse Americans by acting like you’re one of us, but actually you’re the devil. 

5. You act like Ryan Reynolds. 

6. Ryan Reynolds acts like you. 

​7. Despite your fragile features and porcelain doll arrogance, you are able to drink normal people into oblivion, as they fall off their bar stools and remember only the whiff of unearned smugness and superiority in the air before they black out. 
IBR MERCH
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