Deep psychology news: Being dumb is a sign you’re really smart.

As part of a deep psychological study commissioned by the Intergalactic Business Report, new evidence has emerged proving that the dumber you are, the smarter you are. 
 
Although the study is almost four paragraphs long, we've pulled out some of the most mind-breaking findings below:

1. Deciding not to prepare at all for the huge presentation tomorrow is a sign you are at genius level intelligence. Elite level smart people turn off the “planning” part of their brain and simply show up and talk, sometimes not even understanding what the subject is. Many so called “smart” people will look at them and think, “Wow, this guy is unprepared and seems drunk.” But in reality, the drunk guy who’s waving his hands around and mumbling before shouting out, “Stop touching my Jesus pants!” is kind of like Albert Einstein. Which brings us to number two, next… 

2. If Einstein were alive today, he would appear to be a dumbass. And not just because of his stupid-looking hair. Also because of the way he dressed. 

3. Shit pants, fuck mouth, potty dick. If you read those terms and said to yourself, “That’s stupid and makes no sense,” then you’re actually dumb. “Dumb” people will read those words and say, “Yeah. I get that.” Are you “dumb” too?  

4. Studying for pretty much anything is a sign of stupidity. Think about it. Why are you studying? Because you don’t know anything? Exactly. 
  
5. Eating food made of or encased in mass-produced corn chips, means you are more intelligent than people who eat “farm to table” which is code for “butt to mouth.” Doritos Locos tacos. Fritos sandwiches. Feed your brain what it needs and wants.
 
6. Slurring words is a sign your brain is thinking on a higher level than your mouth. First, you’ve made the genius decision to drink so much that your mouth has stopped working. Second, the stuff you’re trying to make your mouth say is so important that you’re spitting on everyone. Third, you can’t write it down, because the bartender won’t trust you with a pen because he keeps saying you’re going to stab yourself or someone else. These are all indicators that your brain has essentially left your body and is thinking on such a high level that you can’t capture or remember any of the messages that would surely solve all universal mysteries. 
 
7. “Smart” rhymes with “fart.” Dumb rhymes with nothing except the words “numb” and “thumb” and probably some others. But none of those words rhyme with “fart.” Can “smart” say the same? Nope.

8. “Dumb” people will have read this far. “Smart” people would have been “smart” enough to stop reading after the first line or two. We feel this is the most startling evidence to prove our point. Case rested.