Five things your doctor will never admit.

Doctors take a hippocritical oath. Or something like that. The next time you sit in their crappy looking examination room and get probed, remember what's really going on. Below we detail the five things your "caretaker" will never tell you. 
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1. The whole reason I got a medical license is because I just like sticking my fingers up people’s butts.
2. I am judging your body.
3. I think it’s hilarious that I get to call you by your first name, but you have to call me “doctor.”
4. If I have no idea what's wrong with you -which is like 90% of the time- I’ll just say, “I’m going to put you on some antibiotics…”
5. Coming in here just increased your odds of getting even more sick. This whole office is basically a petri dish of death.