Seven things your dog wishes he could tell you.

They're your best friend (supposedly). And they "love" you. But stunning new research has given us a new take on just what dogs are really thinking.

The next time you're walking your "best friends," consider these seven things they wish they could tell you...

1. You are like my totalitarian dictator. If it weren't for me not being able to cook or handle food, I would plot your overthrow.
2. O.K., I am plotting your overthrow. As soon as I figure out how to open the refrigerator.
3. The yard is my prison and you are my corrections officer.
4. I shit in the house as a silent protest to your rule.
5. You smell like ass. That's the only thing I like about you.
6. The food you give me tastes like shit crackers. Thanks for buying into the dog food company’s bullshit about me needing a “special diet” of crap that only they can make.
7. Stop yanking my leash, you little bitch.