How to take a shower, according to the experts. (Apparently, we’ve been doing it wrong this whole time…)

Taking a shower seems pretty straightforward. But new insights from shower experts show that you were all wrong about how you wash yourself.
 
We were shocked to hear these five tips that were unknown to us previously:
 
 
1. Don’t forget to wash your butthole*, which is located between your butt cheeks (the large flaps of skin on your backside). Pull the cheeks apart and rub soap on the area inside. 
 
2. Don’t eat the soap or shampoo. As tempting as it may be, the stuff you wash yourself with is not to be eaten or even tasted. Apparently, this can make you sick. You may be saying, “but I eat it every day and nothing’s ever happened to me,” but we’re just relaying what the experts told us. 

3. Don’t fall asleep in the shower. Even with its warm floors, water, and colors, the shower is a bad place to take a nap, even if only for a few hours. Experts recommend that if you’re sleepy, you get out, dry off and find a bed or couch.  

4. Don’t eat in the shower (even if it’s not soap or shampoo). Eating your lunch, breakfast, dinner, or even a snack while you’re taking a shower is frowned upon by most shower experts. They tell us that your food can get soggy, fall apart, or even get on you, which to us seemed fine, since you’re already in the shower, right? 

5. Having sex (even with yourself) in the shower is fine. What? But you can’t eat in there or take a nap? Here’s where we seriously began to question the “experts.” 
 
*This is also the hole through which you poop.