We’ve all been lied to at one time in our lives. Whether it was about
Santa Claus, penis size, or how many bottles of hotel shampoo someone said he could fit up his butt, it stung when you found out the truth and that the person lying to you was a liar.
To end this suffering, the Intergalactic Business Report engaged in a massive psychological study about lying, liars, and “non-truth telling,” as it is called in academia. Below we reveal our astounding findings that all liars do the following nine things:
1. They lie.
2. They don’t tell the truth.
3. They say things that aren’t true.
4. If something is the truth, they don’t say it.
5. They say things that sound like they may be true, but they aren’t.
6. They say things that sound like a total lie and those things are indeed a lie.
7. They pretend that something they’re saying is true, but it isn’t at all.
8. They tell you something and you think, “Oh, that sounds true.” But later on, you find out it’s not.
9. They tell you they can fit three hotel shampoos up their butt, but, in reality, they can barely fit two.
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