Hate going to the dentist? Don’t worry. There won’t be such a thing in a few years. Like going to strip clubs? Too bad. They’ll be over too.
The Intergalactic Business Report’s top futurist gives you five present-day professions that will be gone in five years.
1. Dentist. This archaic profession features tooth “doctors” who invade your mouth with their fingers, medieval hooks, blades, and other torture devices. Within five years, our futurist believes most people will simply give up on the nonsense of paying to sit in a recliner and have someone basically mouth-rape them.
2. Stripper. In five years, you and your college buddies will be saying, “remember when we’d go to strip clubs where women would show us their tits and we’d pay for it?” Very soon, instead of going to these clubs, men will turn on a computer or mobile device, search for pictures or videos of naked women, and watch that instead. Wait, they can do that already. We guess the future is here early.
3. Dog walker. Most reputable scientists agree that it won’t be long before dogs (and some cats) will be fully autonomous and living in their own communities that have only light interactions with humans. Dog walkers from our present will likely be seen as the equivalent of war criminals and hunted by dogs who wish to bring them in to stand trial.
4. Character actor. When we see some guy who’s in every movie but we don’t know his name, we like to act smart by saying what a great “character actor” he is. In five years, we will realize that putting the word “character” in front of the word “actor” doesn’t make us sound smart and doesn’t make the actor any better (or make up for the fact that we have no idea what his name is and don’t really care).
5. Waitress. While it’s enjoyable to have young men or women take your order and bring you food (like some kind of slave), we will look back on this time and realize that the relationship between waiter and customer was completely racist (or something like that). Instead, people will just serve themselves at restaurants by paying money at the door and then eating at elaborate “troughs” filled with shared food.
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