“No symptomatic” people may be the latest Coronavirus threat.

You’ve probably heard of asymptomatic people (those who have Covid-19, but show no symptoms) and pre-symptomatic people (those who have the virus but haven’t shown symptoms yet), but a new group is emerging that scientists* believe could account for an even higher number of victims.
 
In an unprecedented medical study** commissioned by the Intergalactic Business Report, we discovered that “no symptomatic” people live among us every day and pose the largest threat to stopping the spread of the virus. Below we outline our findings.
 
 
The characteristics of “no symptomatic” victims.
No symptomatic patients don’t carry the Coronavirus, and scientists believe this is probably why they show no symptoms. This is also why it is so difficult to identify them. Most no symptomatic people act and feel normal, feeling no sickness or pain. If you feel “normal” it is possible you are one of them.
 
How many people are “no symptomatic”?
Early estimates indicate that no symptomatic people could be in the hundreds of millions, meaning if you aren’t symptomatic, asymptomatic, or pre-symptomatic, you are almost definitely no symptomatic.
 
How do “no symptomatic” people spread the virus?
At this point, we believe that no symptomatic people aren’t passing on Coronavirus mostly because they don’t have it, but research on this is still in the early stages. We will soon understand more as the science catches up, and at that point we will make a scary as shit pronouncement about how we’re all going to die. 
 
*Some guys we met in an online chat room who we’re pretty sure were speaking English, but who knows.
**We have always believed that medicine and medical studies belong to the people, and so this study was done by people for the people, which is patriotic.