People on the internet are sharing their wildest psychological tricks that subtly get you what you want.
Human interaction is something most of us take for granted. You talk. They talk. And then something something. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The Intergalactic Business Report scoured the internet and found some amazing psychological tricks that people use to subtly manipulate others and make situations more bearable. We list the best ones below:
1. “The next time someone insults you or says something hurtful, just agree with them. Most people are expecting a conflict or for you to defend yourself, but when you don’t, it takes the power out of their actions, and they will actually start apologizing to you about what they said. Try it.”
2. “I sometimes imagine my dog is giving me orders to do really fucked up shit. It’s super funny when he tells me to spray shaving cream on people at Costco. Then it turns a little darker when he commands me to decapitate squirrels.”
3. “When I deal with a really difficult person, I say super positive things to him and, eventually, that positivity starts to seep in and he becomes a lot nicer.”
4. “Whenever someone talks to me, I pretend he’s Jesus and he’s telling me stuff that will help me defeat my enemies, and I’m like why is Jesus telling me to attack people who have done pretty minor things to me but he’s calling them my enemies and that I need to eliminate them before they eliminate me. I mean, the one dude he keeps talking about who needs to ‘get taken out’ is my neighbor who has a lazy eye, but Jesus says it’s not lazy—it’s disrespectful.”
5. “When I want someone to do something for me, I try to make it seem like it’s their idea. I just keep repeating what I want and then say things like, ‘would you really do that for me?’ Unbelievably, this works.”
6. “One time, I just showed up at a bar and started screaming that everyone needed to get out immediately and I just kept screaming till people freaked out and left. Then I went behind the bar and started drinking for free until the cops came.”
7. “Nodding your head when people talk to you actually makes them think you’re not listening. Try keeping your head perfectly still and stare deeply. This conveys that you are taking in their every thought and makes them feel heard.”
8. “Slowly pulling your pants down during a conversation will usually end it eventually, so use this if there’s someone you don’t want to talk to.”
9. “The greatest conversation starter ever is to say something about lost treasure. Everyone in the room will perk up and listen.”
10. “If you ever feel like you’re losing an argument to someone, tell them about how you worship the devil and that you get credit for killing people and extra credit if it’s really bad.”
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