People who do these 5 simple things live one to two seconds longer.

Longevity. It means long but also with “gevity.” People today want to stretch out their existence as far as possible because life is so awesome and fulfilling that even a few extra moments are totally worth it. Today the Intergalactic Business Report shows you how to suck the marrow* out of life and gain a valuable two or three seconds. 
 
In a scientific research study involving scientists, we discovered the five things that some people do to live an average of one to two seconds longer. Are you one of them?
 
 
1. Instead of eating a consistent high fiber diet, they eat one apple, once, which offers them approximately two seconds of extended life. 

2. Before they take their last breath of life, they wait one or two seconds, thus giving them an extra one or maybe two seconds of life. 

3. When the Grim Reaper appears and says it’s time to go, they answer with, “Just one sec.” 

4. They look at their watch, wait two seconds, and then pop out to surprise the Mafia by saying, “Hey you fat Italian pieces of shit! I fucked your mothers! And your spaghetti sauce sucks!” 

5. Instead of saying, “One… Two… Three… Jump!” they say, “Five… Four… Three… Two… One… Jump!”
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*Penis.

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