Are you someone without anxiety? Do you play it cool, go with the flow, and have water drip off your back (huh?). Well, this is why you’re dumb.
YOU: Flying is the safest form of travel.
ANXIETY: Is it safer than not flying, staying home, locking yourself in your house, and not answering the door?
YOU: If you worry all the time, you’ll never enjoy your life.
ANXIETY: Enjoy your life, till you’re killed by that guy in the clown suit you weren’t worried about.
YOU: Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.
ANXIETY: My girlfriend just revealed to me that she’s my uncle and the good news is she’s not a blood relative because my parents adopted me on a bet at a cocaine party.
YOU: Fear isn’t real. It’s something in your mind.
ANXIETY: Tell your mind not to be afraid while I release this bag of rats onto your face.
YOU: The only thing to fear is fear itself.
ANXIETY: I’m already terrified of fear, but thanks for letting me know you think that’s the number one fear I should have. I’ll move it up on my fucking list.
YOU: Go to your high school reunion. What’s the worst that can happen?
ANXIETY: I could show up and be voted “most weight gained since high school” just before the “Prom Killer” returns and murders me in the bathroom.
YOU: Take a chance. You only live once.
ANXIETY: Isn’t that the whole reason you DON’T take chances?
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