A recent Buzzfeed article took on the daunting task of going to Reddit and seeing what some dude posted and how people responded and then re-posting that as an article. We thought that was great, so we took the same question and asked readers of the Intergalactic Business Report, “What is an adult problem nobody prepared you for?” The answers below are worthy of a Buzzfeed reprinting if we say so ourselves.
“What is an adult problem nobody prepared you for?”
1. “No diapers. When you’re a baby, you have diapers, and you can just take a shit or whatever when you feel like it. Then someone else cleans it up. As an adult, I never imagined I would need to figure out how the hell to poop and pee in a way that wasn’t straight into my pants.”
2. “Washing my body. Nobody ever explains to you that, as an adult, if you don’t clean yourself, no one else is going to do it for you. I found out the hard way that after about three months, you smell like shit and you’re like, why do I smell like shit? Answer: You gotta clean yoself, bro. Probably the weirdest lesson I’ve ever learned.”
3. “Your face and body change. I wish someone had told me that when you get older you don’t look the same as when you’re a baby or a little child. It took me a long time to figure this out because at first I thought I’d been body-switched by a witch who wanted me to look like a fat, ugly, piece of shit-looking adult. Turns out that piece of shit-looking dude is me.”
4. “Money. What the fuck is that? The first time I went to a grocery store by myself, I just grabbed shit off the shelves and threw it in my cart. Then some guy told me I needed to ‘pay’ for it. Pay? For ‘it’? What the fuck?”
5. “Your penis gets large. Then it gets small again. Then it gets large. At least larger than my baby penis anyway.”
6. “Screaming is totally different. I used to scream all the time and people would come help me or calm me down. Now I walk near a subway platform and do it and everyone clears out like the opposite of what they want to do is help me.”
7. “Mommy and Daddy get old and aren’t worth shit to you. At some point, your parents stop feeding you and expect you to do stuff like work and go to school and make decisions for yourself, rendering them totally useless.”
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