Even though it’s not close to Mother’s Day, the Intergalactic Business Report has become obsessed* with memes, Reelz, and insta stories about mothers. Yes, a lot of it has been about MILFs. But recently, we also came across a stunning tribute to motherhood in which a maudlin memer showed Christiano Ronaldo and his mom and then posed seven questions that everyone should ask his mother before she either dies, becomes incomprehensible, or just starts making shit up.
As we cry about our moms, we pose our own seven questions, which we hope will be included in this meme engine’s next tearjerker.
Seven questions you need to ask your mom before she’s dead, speaks gibberish, or just lies to you out of spite or senility.
1. When I was a baby did you, as a woman, also think my dick looked “weird”?
2. If we weren’t related, would you still call me a “handsome young man” and what would be the implications/your next move?
3. I saw dad’s dick once, and it was weird. Is his dick the same as mine? I mean, not the same, obviously, because that would mean my dick would be in a grave with him, in his pants. I think you understand what I’m asking.
4. Who was that guy who was always in your bed when dad was on business trips?
5. Did that guy have a weird dick? Is that your thing?
6. Let’s get this cleared up just in case you don’t understand. When I say “weird” I mean the shape of a shillelagh and multi-colored as if every race on Earth was represented—even ones that don’t exist any longer, like hobbit creatures.
7. In case you’ve forgotten, can I just show you my dick so that you understand what I’m talking about? It looks weird, right?
*We saw something on Instagram and were like, huh.
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