Let’s face it, people today are sensitive, and that means they often take your well-intentioned statements and twist them into something horrible in their minds. Even normal, polite compliments can be construed as insults, and you need to choose your words carefully.
In what can only be described as a benevolent gift to you and humankind, the Intergalactic Business Report alerts you about the seven most common but unintentionally rude things you utter every day. If you want to keep your friends and charm your colleagues, stop saying these now:
1. “Fuck off, dick mouth.”
2. “Eat my fart. Please open your mouth to receive it.”
3. “You’re a beast. Like the kind that stinks and is hairy. Just to be clear, I didn’t mean that as a compliment in any way.”
4. “I find you so unattractive that the only way I would stick my dick in you is if that somehow would deactivate a bomb that was going to blow up planet Earth. And even then, I’d probably just say fuck it and let the world explode.”
5. “Sometimes I wish we would just get invaded by aliens so I could take my mind off how much you totally and absolutely suck.”
6. “I hate you. I hate you so much. I hate you so much I wish every day I could express that hate to you in a way you could truly understand. Because just saying I hate you doesn’t cover it.”
7. “Your face gives me rabies.”
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