THE INTERGALACTIC BUSINESS REPORT
  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR

Life-changing Insights

Seven ways your dog begs you for help.

11/16/2021

Comments

 
Picture
Canine communication with humans is a complicated system, developed over thousands of years. In the early days of dog to person relationships, wolves had but a few primitive tools by which to express themselves. But today’s dogs use tone, facial movement, and body language to tell us what they need and want.
 
Dog experts have recently shared advanced data with the Intergalactic Business Report that defines what Fido is actually telling you when he barks, whimpers, or extends his paw. You may not even know when your dog is in distress. Below read the seven ways your dog begs you for help.
 
 
The seven ways your dog begs you for help.
 
 
1. “You such a nice person. Wondering if you can help me out with a problem. My furry paws can’t reach dat steak on dat table over der. So, use yer hands to do it for me. Give me dat. Seriously. Give it to me. Come on. Do it. Jesus christ. You such a dick.” 

2. “Hey der… See dat chicken yer eating? Give it to me. Do it. Give it to me. Jesus. You fucking suck.” 

3. “Hello… Nice day out here. Why don’t you give me dat fucking treat you give me when I do something good. Give it. Only don’t make me do a stupid trick. Jesus. You such a fucking asshole.” 

4. “Oh my… I’m a little doggy. Now give me yer chicken bone before I jump up and take it from yer stanky fingers. No? I might do it. You don’t know what I’m thinking. You don’t know how lucky you just got.” 

5. “Hi mister… Having a little trouble today. Can you pleze open dat refrigerator and lemme see if I left my wallet in der? Oh, I don’t have a wallet cuz Ima dog? Go fuck yerself den.” 

6. “See me over here just lying around like I got nothin to do? Dat’s cuz Imma dog and my whole day is just lounging around and waiting for you to spill some potato chips or something so I can eat it off da floor. So, help me out and spill some out of yer fat mouth fer me?” 

​7. “Tanks for filling up my doggie bowl… Wit dat crap food you only give me. So… Heerza idea. Why don’t you give me a lil piece of dat sandwich you eating? Pleaze? I beggin for it. Look at me. I doing the funny eyes dat make you feel bad. Now give me da sandwich… Yeah. Dat right. Hand me da fucking sandwish. Real good. Real good.”
Buy our merch
Comments

    About

    Insights are given to you as a gift from our team of insight insiders.

    Archives

    April 2025
    March 2025
    January 2025
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    July 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    January 2024
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    December 2022
    September 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    March 2018

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR