Canine communication with humans is a complicated system, developed over thousands of years. In the early days of dog to person relationships, wolves had but a few primitive tools by which to express themselves. But today’s dogs use tone, facial movement, and body language to tell us what they need and want.
Dog experts have recently shared advanced data with the Intergalactic Business Report that defines what Fido is actually telling you when he barks, whimpers, or extends his paw. You may not even know when your dog is in distress. Below read the seven ways your dog begs you for help.
The seven ways your dog begs you for help.
1. “You such a nice person. Wondering if you can help me out with a problem. My furry paws can’t reach dat steak on dat table over der. So, use yer hands to do it for me. Give me dat. Seriously. Give it to me. Come on. Do it. Jesus christ. You such a dick.”
2. “Hey der… See dat chicken yer eating? Give it to me. Do it. Give it to me. Jesus. You fucking suck.”
3. “Hello… Nice day out here. Why don’t you give me dat fucking treat you give me when I do something good. Give it. Only don’t make me do a stupid trick. Jesus. You such a fucking asshole.”
4. “Oh my… I’m a little doggy. Now give me yer chicken bone before I jump up and take it from yer stanky fingers. No? I might do it. You don’t know what I’m thinking. You don’t know how lucky you just got.”
5. “Hi mister… Having a little trouble today. Can you pleze open dat refrigerator and lemme see if I left my wallet in der? Oh, I don’t have a wallet cuz Ima dog? Go fuck yerself den.”
6. “See me over here just lying around like I got nothin to do? Dat’s cuz Imma dog and my whole day is just lounging around and waiting for you to spill some potato chips or something so I can eat it off da floor. So, help me out and spill some out of yer fat mouth fer me?”
7. “Tanks for filling up my doggie bowl… Wit dat crap food you only give me. So… Heerza idea. Why don’t you give me a lil piece of dat sandwich you eating? Pleaze? I beggin for it. Look at me. I doing the funny eyes dat make you feel bad. Now give me da sandwich… Yeah. Dat right. Hand me da fucking sandwish. Real good. Real good.”
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