Thanks? Look out for these backhanded compliments.

Have a friend who says stuff? Be careful he/she’s not secretly insulting you. Next time you hear one of these backhanded compliments, beware…
 
 
“You’re like a twenty wrapped in a one-dollar bill.”
 
“You don’t smell as bad as my uncle who sleeps in his own shit.”
 
“When you smile I forget all about your double chin for a half second.”
 
“You remind me of that model whose face got crushed by farming equipment.”
 
“You’re like a diamond. Your skin is shiny and I can’t tell where your mouth is.”
 
“You work harder than anyone else at being you.”
 
“I’d love to travel with you because your arms look big enough to carry my luggage.”
 
“Your soulmate is out there somewhere. All you need to do is start visiting carnivals and group homes.”
 
“You make me so wet when you talk like that… because you’re spitting all over my face.” 
 
“If they made me shoot my friends, I would sacrifice you third to last, because I’ve known Jerry, Stella, Ricky, Jose, Sunil, Barry, Laura, Jim, and some of those other guys longer than you. But you’d definitely be ahead of Randy and that one dude whose name I can’t remember, so I guess he isn’t my friend. O.K. let’s rewind. I’d shoot you first to last. Right after Randy.”
 
“I’ve never met anyone like you because no two human beings are exactly the same.”