The 3 weird psychological reasons you’re afraid of lions, tigers, and bears.

REASON ONE:
Animals are physically stronger than us and able to rip our bodies apart with their teeth and claws. This makes them potentially dangerous and when we see them, we think, “Maybe this creature will try to rip me into pieces with its claws and teeth.” Sometimes, in real life, these animals do just that. They totally kill humans and even eat them. It’s because of this that you are probably afraid when you see a lion, tiger, or bear.
 
REASON TWO:
Lions, tigers, and bears have a psychic connection with many people. This is why many people have pictures of them in their homes, tattoos on their bodies, and wear things like tiger print clothing. If you are one of these people, you may come close to a lion, for instance, and the lion will telepathically communicate something like, “Hey, Robert. What’s up, man? You good? That’s cool. If I can get out of this cage I will fucking tear your arms off your body.”
 
REASON THREE:
You have decided to live “off the grid” in a way that makes you prey for lions, tigers, and bears. For example, you don’t wear clothes, don’t have shelter, and run through forests looking for small animals to capture and eat. This makes bears and lions and tigers especially scary because you are really no match for them physically in any way even though you thought, originally, when you started your new lifestyle, that you would somehow befriend all the creatures in the woods and become kind of like their “mayor.” Now you’re finding that impossible because they don’t like you or care about your ideas, mostly because they don’t understand English. Also because the stuff about having the forest be like a “co-op” where everyone can contribute and do their own thing but also not kill each other for food or resources isn’t something most animals are interested in. Well, the squirrels were. They liked that message a lot because they can’t kill shit and they’d love to share resources. So you’ve got the squirrels on your side. At least you’ve got that. 

Click for 100% independent humor