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Life-changing Insights

The end of peanut butter? Six things that will be extinct by 2025.

9/26/2018

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An old saying goes, “the future is all knowing.” Which means that if you could figure out what happened in the future, you would know what happens… In the future. To this end, the Intergalactic Business Report’s top futurist tells you what's coming, and if you like peanut butter, it isn’t good.
 
Below we outline six everyday life things that will be gone by the year 2025:

 
1. Peanut butter. Yes, peanut butter. Current peanut butter production is at an all-time high (or must be, considering how there’s so much peanut butter in every grocery store, right?), but within a few years people will stop eating it altogether when they figure out how much it resembles shit and then they can’t get that thought out of their minds.  

2. Air conditioning. Air conditioning, like Santa Claus, exists only because people believe in it. The end of air conditioning will begin when a critical mass of people realizes that “cooling air” with a magic machine is not possible, at which point air conditioning units will shut down en masse.  

3. Sex where you stand up (example: the wheelbarrow). Let’s face it, this will probably end earlier, when everyone is just kind of way too tired to have sex that requires any standing.  

4. Car washes. The growing confusion around the difference between a premium wax and a regular wash will finally reach a boiling point and most people will just wait for it to rain or sell their car and assume someone else will wash it, leading to number 5 below. 

5. Guys who write “wash me” in the dirt on cars.  

6. Throw away greetings such as “how’s it going?” “What’s up?” “Hey there,” and “Good morning.” Our futurist believes that within a short time most people will see these as useless and insincere and replace them with expressive grunts or emotive statements like: “yowza” and “yummy.”
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