Top 5 early signs of dementia. Number three is scary.

​NUMBER 1.
Your ability to read simple sentences becomes clouded by repetition as if your ability to read simple sentences is like reading them over and over by repetition as if your ability to read simple sentences becomes clouded by repetition.
 
NUMBER 2.
You see a clickbait article on the signs of early dementia, and you dementedly click on it because you want to find out why “number three” on the list of signs is so scary.
 
NUMBER 4. 
You click on an article and then forget why you were reading it because you have zero interest in market research about pet fashion.
 
NUMBER 5.
Dog fashion is a six-billion-dollar industry and in the coming years is projected to be an even bigger part of pet owners’ lives. Brands like Doggy Curl and Whiskaways currently dominate the Dog and Cat categories but newcomers Big Earl and Duke have enjoyed market share growth each year since 2017. The outlook for 2023 remains strong as pet owners are forecasted to continue spending at similar rates to 2022. 
 
NUMBER 6. 
Put your pants on.
 
NUMBER 7.
Pants. Something about pants. And… Who was that one guy you went to high school with? He was best friends with your best friend and his name was something with a “C” like Curtis or Charles. Why the fuck can’t you remember? Also, who’s the guy on Family Ties who was friends with Alex? What the fuck was his name? Was his name Curtis? Jesus. 
 
NUMBER 8.
After reading dumb article after dumb online article, you realize that losing your mind doesn’t really even matter anymore because if you didn’t you’d just be spending your time reading dumb articles like this and is that really even a life? Like, what is there to remember that’s even worth remembering? The fake signs of cancer that are also things everybody has all the time but you still click on the link because they have a picture of someone holding his back and you sometimes hold your back so maybe you have cancer? If you think about it, not having a mind anymore would be almost the same as having one only instead of your head being filled with useless shit, it would just be empty. Shit. It was Charles Lewis. Fucking Charles Lewis. Oh man. Skippy. Skippy Handelman. Jesus. 

IBR MERCH