THE INTERGALACTIC BUSINESS REPORT
  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR

Life-changing Insights

Top secret agents use these 6 tricks to fall asleep in under one minute. You can use them too.

5/3/2019

Comments

 
Picture
Have trouble sleeping? Use these 6 tricks developed by top secret agents to fall asleep in under one minute. Try them tonight and sleep tight.
 
 
1. Masturbate picturing yourself having sex with another version of yourself and your grandmother handing you stuff while you do it. This will turn your mind off within sixty seconds because it becomes so disturbing that you basically faint. 

2. Drink so much that you feel like you’re going to pass out. When you reach that point, just start counting down from one minute.  

3. Punch yourself in the face for sixty seconds.  

4. Get someone else to punch you in the face for sixty seconds. 

5. Close your eyes and pretend you’re in a canoe floating down a river. Then open your eyes and take a highly illegal sleeping pill that knocks you out immediately.  

​6. Shoot yourself with a tranquilizer dart or have a friend “hunt” you and yell, “Barry got out of his cage! Tell the other zookeepers!” Make sure he shoots you before a minute passes.
Comments

    About

    Insights are given to you as a gift from our team of insight insiders.

    Archives

    February 2023
    December 2022
    September 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    March 2018

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR