Whoops. Four inappropriate emails you send, thinking they’re not.

Even though you think you're just notifying your team about important events and issues, you may be inadvertently offending them and putting yourself in a bad light. Before you hit “send” make sure you’re not subjecting them to any of these commonly sent emails. 
 
EMAIL ONE:

TO: OFFICE LISTSERVE
FROM: Phillip Ratuliak
SUBJECT: Suck my dick
 
Dear office:
 
I invite everyone to meet me on the patio outside our building at 4:00 p.m. to suck my big old fat dick. No makeups or rainchecks.
 
Thanks,
 
Phil
 
EMAIL TWO:

TO: SENIOR STAFF
FROM: Phillip Ratuliak
SUBJECT: My nut sack
 
Dear Senior Staff:
 
You may know that I’ve been working here for seven years now, and during that time, I have come to the conclusion that all senior staff members should take my hairy nut sack and wear it on their face like a mask. 
 
Very sincerely,
 
Phil Ratuliak, Director of Digital Marketing
 
 
EMAIL THREE:

TO: OFFICE SUPPORT STAFF 
FROM: Phillip Ratuliak
SUBJECT: Administrative assistants' day
 
Dear Administrative Assistants,
 
Sorry for showing you all my balls at the last staff meeting. Having said that, if you did see my balls, and you were into it, even a little bit, please contact me privately and do not "reply all" to this email.
 
Yours,
 
Phil Ratuliak
 
EMAIL FOUR:

TO: JANITORIAL STAFF           
FROM: Phillip Ratuliak
SUBJECT: My trash can.
 
Dear Semen Sweepers:
 
I noticed my office wasn’t cleaned last night. So tonight, you motherfuckers better empty my fucking trash can, vacuum my floor, and spray some cleaning shit all over the room or I’m gonna take a dump on my boss’s floor and say you did it. Yeah, that’s right. You always wondered who shit on his floor last year. That was me. Ha ha ha. 
 
Now clean my fucking office.
 
Fuckyoufully,
 
Phil Ratuliak, Room 412.