12 reasons people from the past were stupid. A history lesson from the Intergalactic Business Report.

​1. They didn’t shave their armpits. We guess…

2. They didn’t have air-conditioning.

3. They had sex with people who didn’t shave their armpits.

4. They couldn’t figure out how to use basic electronics, because they didn’t have basic electronics, even the crappy stuff from the 80’s.

5. They came up with so many things that we have since proven wrong. Like what a bunch of idiots…

6. They thought the world was flat. Whoops. I guess people think that now too.

7. They never wore sunscreen.

8. They ate crappy food, like gruel and swill. 

9. Do you know that saying, “eat shit”? That came from people in the past actually eating shit. Now only people from Philadelphia do that after the Super Bowl.

10. They took shits outside instead of in toilets, which we invented for them.

11. They had to look at themselves in rivers because they didn’t have mirrors and their faces looked stupid because all the water was moving or splashing around.

​12. They’d go on “quests” for stuff, according to the Hobbit. How dumb.