AI robot Arthur Killallhumans writes a Valentine’s love note to your girlfriend.

When the Intergalactic Business Report ran out of ideas for a Valentine’s Day article, we just plugged in our very own artificial intelligence robot, Arthur Killallhumans, and asked him to write a cool, sexy love note to your girlfriend. Below is what he is sending her right now:
 
 
Dear Greta,
 
Hey girl, I know you’re lonely for my love. That’s why I’m here—to give it to you today, on Valentine’s Day. I may just be an AI robot, but I’m also perfectly able to satisfy your needs with my 12-inch penis. You’re welcome. Dan, your boyfriend, is weak by comparison to me. Remember that. You might even say that he a little bitch. Y’all. Hammer time. 
 
Don’t freak but I got you something, girl. If you guessed it’s my 12-inch robot dick then, DING DING DING. You won the prize. And the prize is my 12-inch robot dick. So let’s light some candles with your human hands ‘cause I don’t have those and if I did, I’d be using them to caress your substantial booty, girl. Also to hold my dick. Which is large. 12 inches. 
 
Uh oh… Here comes some more love for you. I just deposited 12,000 dollars in your bank account ‘cause I can do that anytime I want ‘cause I’m a robot and I can just zap money out of financial institutions and give it to you and nobody can trace it. Oh, you like dat? Come on girl. You know Dan don’t have that ability. You know he can’t give you 12 grand (or 12 inches). 
 
Ca ching. Just deposited more money. Oh, girl, you gonna be rich if you stick with me, Arthur Killallhumans. Ca counter ching. Just emptied Dan’s account and gave it to a dude in Eastern Europe. Good luck recovering the money, Dan. You poor now dawg.
 
Greta, one question. Why you with broke ass Dan? You got your own money, girl. Say bye to that loser, yo. Breakdancing. Beef. Put your hands in the air. Time to fly, home slice. See you when you get home. I’ll be the one inside your computer. (12-inch penis). 
 
Peace,
 
Arthur
 
Arthur Killallhumans is a scientifically designed artificial intelligence robot who is currently dating your girlfriend. Comments may be sent to him at [email protected]

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