It probably needs to be pointed out that today’s world is very different than the 1980’s. In what can only be described as a major new academic study of history and culture, the Intergalactic Business Report offers its readers rare insights into the subtle social and anthropological shifts that have taken place over the past several decades.
Below are excerpts from the study, highlighting some of the most stunning cultural differences between our ages:
Today, “He Man” would be a straight up gay porn instead of an overtly homerotic story of masculine men showing their muscles and fighting for justice.
In the 80’s, If there was anything called “Fuck Boy Island” it would have been gay porn instead of an overtly homerotic story of masculine men showing their muscles and fighting for a woman they’d never talk to in real life.
In today’s world, Mr. Whipple would have been arrested. And there’d be news footage of him being perp-walked out of the grocery store.
In the 80’s, if there was a commercial about women taking dumps television would have just ended the day that aired.
Condom “commercials” in the 80’s were the pictures on those bar bathroom vending machines that had French ticklers in them.
In the 80’s, the “Handmaid’s Tale” t.v. show would have been called “Little House on the Prairie: a New Beginning.”
In the 80’s, If someone posted a personal ad and said he was looking for a relationship and wanted to see a picture of you and you got in touch with him, you were murdered. Today, on dating apps, you not only get in contact, but you have sex with that dude. That night. You don’t get murdered usually though.
In the 80’s, some pervs would wear raincoats to the park and then open them up so that horrified strangers could see their naked bodies. Women would run away, panicked, and the “flasher” would be sexually satisfied. Today, if guys did that, it would be a “lifestyle” choice and they’d say, “I’m a flasher,” and people would say, “Oh, that’s cool. My brother’s a flasher.”
If a guy shaved his nuts in 1985, he would be psychologically evaluated. Today, if a guy doesn’t shave his nuts, he may be psychologically evaluated.
Today, “Freedom Rock” would be a right-wing country music concert.
Like yoghurt, we keep it cultured actively.