Some call it “having game” while others say it’s “a way” with women. Whatever it is, you don’t have it. Like other men who inexplicably forgo dating apps that all but guarantee instant hookups with random partners, you’re flummoxed by your inability to meet and seduce women in public places where they’re just trying to live their lives without you.
To help struggling bros seeking a magic touch with the opposite sex, we offer a new feature at the Intergalactic Business Report in which we learn seduction techniques from fictitious television and movie characters. We begin with Mel Gibson as Martin Riggs in Lethal Weapon 2. Take notes as we break down Riggs’ surefire moves on Rika van den Haas when he sees her in a grocery store.
STEP ONE: Riggs stands in the grocery store and stares at Rika, who had just met him in passing at her office in an earlier scene. He then remarks about the produce she’s choosing. When she looks over and recognizes him, he explains that he followed her to the store.
STEP TWO: Riggs apologizes for probably frightening her when he showed up at her office and threatened her boss. She says she was “a bit startled by all those guns.”
STEP THREE: Riggs grabs Rika's grocery basket as she clings to it and starts rooting through her food. Then he demands she has dinner with him, and she says no.
STEP FOUR: Riggs doesn’t accept her answer and keeps telling her she should come back to his trailer. She keeps saying no, but he just keeps selling it. He finally suggests that she “be orginal” and “say yes” because “everyone else says no.” When she again says no, he pretends to poke her in the eyes with his fingers.
STEP FIVE: Still pulling on her grocery basket, Riggs tells Rika to let go of it or he will scream. She won’t let go, so he begins to drag her with him, saying, “Come on with me. Come on.” She says, “No, no please.”
STEP SIX: He starts shouting through the store, “Lady let go of my bag, will you?” and then asks for someone to call the cops.
STEP SEVEN: Riggs dumps her grocery basket all over the floor and the confused store manager comes out to ask what’s going on. Riggs grabs Rika’s arm and says “let’s get out of here before somebody does call a cop.” He pulls her out of the store and brings her to his trailer.
RECAP: Riggs shows up to a woman’s work, threatens her boss with a gun, follows her to a grocery store, tells her she needs to go back to his trailer with him, grabs her grocery basket, dumps it on the floor, yanks her out of the building before the cops show up, and brings her back to his shitty trailer.
-After you show up at a woman’s work and threaten her boss with a gun and then follow her to a grocery store and apologize for scaring her and then grab her grocery basket and tell her she has to have dinner with you and she says no, you’re basically killing it.
-Women aren’t creeped out if you follow them from their work to a grocery store and then stare at them till they figure out you’re the guy who came into their place of work earlier that day and threatened their boss with a firearm.
-If you ask a woman to go back to your trailer 17 times and she says no 17 times, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to go back to your trailer.
-Look like Mel Gibson in 1989.
Like yoghurt, we keep it cultured actively.