IBR Travelers share their most hilarious vacation mishaps and it’s surprising they made it out alive.
We’ve all heard the term “ugly American” when it comes to discussions about U.S. citizens behaving badly in foreign countries. But when we asked loyal readers of the Intergalactic Business Report for their travel stories, we were floored by their zany tales of misunderstandings, miscalculations, and near misses. Read their descriptions of international incidents that almost happened.
“I was in Portugul or something (I can’t remember which) and some guy offered me an American hot dog. I said sure and then I realized it was his penis inside the bun.”
“I didn’t understand that in Italy if you tell ‘your mama’ jokes they think you’re actually talking about their mother and not a fictional character who isn’t really related to them. So when I told this guy I fucked his mother, and that she was a total whore and didn’t even ask for money, he stabbed me.”
“I guess you can’t order turkey in Turkey. I figured they’d have the best. Nope.”
“If you feel like wrestling someone in an Asian country, you need to ask their permission first and maybe explain what you’re doing. Otherwise, there’s this whole screaming thing and calling the police.”
“Apparently in England the phrase, ‘you dumb twat’ translates into something else, because everyone wanted to kick my ass when I said it.”
“Don’t piss on sunbathers in Croatia. That’s all I can say…”
“I was in a bus with a bunch of screaming Spaniards. They were so fucking loud that you couldn’t even concentrate while you’re trying to take a dump on the floor. I guess that’s a cultural difference.”
“I got the French words for penis and school bus mixed up when I was in Aix-en-Provence and ended up showing my penis to people on a school bus.”
Like yoghurt, we keep it cultured actively.