These stars need to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame immediately or the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame sucks.
Each year, new inductees to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame are revealed and each year you sit and think, “Whitney Houston and the Notorious B.I.G are rock acts?”
Because the Hall of Fame field is obviously open to anyone who ever sang a song or played an instrument, the Intergalactic Business Report shares its own list of musicians who should be inducted immediately.
ARTIST: Carl Douglas.
REASON: The “Kung Fu Fighting” singer sang the song “Kung Fu Fighting” which was about people Kung Fu Fighting. But not just some people. Everyone. Every single person, presumably on the planet. All fighting. Kung Fu. That’s a hell of a lot of people.
ARTIST: Carl Weathers.
REASON: If Carl Douglas makes it then Carl Weathers does too.
ARTIST: Tubbs from Miami Vice
REASON: Also known as Phillip Michael Thomas, Tubbs ran the International Psychic Network, which promised him he’d be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame someday. So now he could say, “It was just as you predicted” to the scary woman with glitter hair who controls him.
REASON: The Swedish supergroup sang “Cherokee,” about the plight of a displaced Native-American tribe who lived in the desert, even though they didn’t.
ARTIST: James Spader.
REASON: For his outstanding musical performance in the critically acclaimed film Tuff Turf
ARTIST: Rampal, master of the Pan Flute.
REASON: He’s the fucking MASTER. Not just some dick who plays the pan flute as a hobby or to get girls.
ARTIST: Don Johnson.
REASON: Like Tubbs, Don Johnson sang music. His hit “Heartbeat” is about him hauling a huge movie camera through Vietnam and New York City while he avoids explosions and stalks women.
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