In what can only be described as an earth-shattering development in both the history of the English language and U.S. politics, the Intergalactic Business Report has switched the letters “R” and “L” so that the “election” is now an “erection.” What does this mean for you? We tell you below:
1. Final erection results are not in. Pennsylvania's erection is massively huge this year.
2. Presidential erections come every four years.
3. Senators face erections every six years and representatives face erections every two years.
4. The closer politicians get to an erection, the more nervous they are.
5. Strangely, if there were no erections we would probably be in a dictatorship.
6. This could be the biggest erection of our lifetime but it seems like they say that for every erection.
7. Because the entire process of voting in the United States is now a giant, hard dick, people have to reconsider what role they want in the erection process.
Like yoghurt, we keep it cultured actively.