We overheard Bratt Pitt and George Clooney talking. Oh my god. You won’t believe what they said.
You probably haven’t heard a lot lately about George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and their super cool, super funny relationship. We hadn’t either. Are they still friends? Do they continue to play whacky pranks on each other? Do they ride motorcycles around Italy and… we forget what else they were supposed to do all the time.
Anyway… An editor from the Intergalactic Business Report accidentally overheard the pair having a private conversation. Although he didn’t have a recording device with him, he was able to memorize the minute details of everything said. Here is a transcript of that:
GEORGE: Did you figure out the Fast Pass?
BRAD: The what?
GEORGE: The Fast Pass… The thing we use to get on the rides.
BRAD: Like the ticket?
GEORGE: Yeah. The ticket. It’s timed or whatever.
BRAD: Like a clock or something?
GEORGE: Jesus. You’re so fucking stupid.
BRAD: What ride do you wanna go on anyway?
GEORGE: Well, let me see… If you had figured out the fucking Fast Pass I could answer that. Now it’s gotta be whatever has the shortest line.
BRAD: Why don’t we just get outta here? This place sucks anyway.
GEORGE: I fucking knew it. You didn’t wanna come to Disney. You fucking didn’t.
BRAD: I told you I’d go. Shit. Calm down.
GEORGE: Yeah, but then you didn’t figure out the Fast Pass. So we can’t go on any rides.
BRAD: You’re such a girl.
GEORGE: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
GEORGE: You’re the girl.
BRAD: That’s what your mom said.
GEORGE: That you’re a girl?
BRAD: Yeah. She likes it when I act like a girl and then have sex with her.
GEORGE: That makes no fucking sense.
BRAD: Yeah, I know. She’s a total freak.
GEORGE: Fuck you.
BRAD: Fuck you too.
GEORGE: Let me see the fucking Fast Pass.
BRAD: I think I dropped it or something.
GEORGE: Oh, you dropped it? That’s such bullshit!
BRAD: I’m gonna leave.
GEORGE: Yeah. Fuck off. Leave. I’m gonna wait in line for a ride.
BRAD: See you in like sixteen hours.
GEORGE: Fuck you.
Like yoghurt, we keep it cultured actively.