NEW SONG: “This Thanksgiving, I’m gonna play with myself.” By Jeff Massengill and Summer Eve.

Fresh off their recent hit, “America’s open. So is my snatch,” the Intergalactic Business Report’s singer/songwriter duo, Jeff Massengill and Summer Eve, return with a new song about how they plan to spend this Thanksgiving holiday amid the Coronavirus pandemic. While we can’t provide sound or melody, we are releasing the lyrics, below:
 
JEFF’S PART:
“Had fun all this summer, but that’s gonna end… Another big lockdown is just round the bend…”
 
“We’ve stocked all our whiskey and toothpaste in tubes… On my kitchen table is a bottle of lube..”
 
“If you’ve got a penis and you’re all alone… You don’t need nobody, cause you have your bone…”
 
“No Turkey no gravy no cranberry sauce… Just me and my wiener getting ready to toss…”
 
“My holiday plans have been put on a shelf… So this Thanksgiving Ima play with myself…”
 
SUMMER’S PART:
“It’s lonely this Thursday with no one around… But I do have one friend every time I look down…”
 
“No relatives with all their political rants… So this year I’m gonna get in my own pants…”
 
“My celebrations have gone up a notch… Since I decided to be with my crotch…” 
 
“My holiday plans have been put on a shelf… So this Thanksgiving Ima play with myself…”
 
REFRAIN:
“Your holiday plans have been put on a shelf… So this Thanksgiving, just play with yourself…”
 
 
*Artist notes: REPEAT LIKE FORTY TIMES.

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