Dear IBR readers:
As we come to the close of another universe-shaking year, our team at the Intergalactic Business Report wants to thank you for being smart enough to learn from our wisdom. You did great.
Frankly, considering the stories and information we gave humankind over the last twelve months, we could end this publication today and many historians would consider us not only some of the best and finest people to have ever lived, but also the most original, sincere, and intelligent.
But because we care so much about the future of our readers and the human race, we have decided to continue on this journey and keep offering you the most insightful reports on everything you don’t get anywhere else. You’re welcome.
Please take a moment to review a small sampling of our favorite highlights from the past year.
From March 5: Seven things your dog wishes he could tell you.
One of our first articles to use proprietary animal translation software. READ NOW.
From August 12: Breaking news: the lottery is fake.
This year, we learned the lottery is fake. READ NOW.
From August 20: Five new, terrifying facts about the Mongolian Death Worm.
The story that started it all. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.READ NOW.
From September 7: Science: drinking enormous amounts of beer can make you immortal.
You always suspected it, but we prove it’s true. READ NOW.
From September 17: 14 things Americans need to know about England before they even go near that little island.
When we unveiled secrets about England, some people from England were pissed. They called us “twats” and some other adorable insults. READ NOW.
From September 18: I was a millionaire at age 23. And you can be too (at any age).
This inside view on the secrets to being wealthy is probably being studied at business schools all over the country. READ NOW.
From September 21: Unreal news. Heaven exists and you need money to get in.
We sent writers into the afterlife to find out if financial planning is really that important. Turns out it is. READ NOW.
From September 28: Breaking genetic news: you are probably related to yourself.
23 and me can suck it because we have the real story on genetics. READ NOW.
From October 16: 4 unexpected positive outcomes of global warming.
In one of our most expensive reports, we went to the Antarctic and uncovered the future.
From October 22: Exclusive first ever interview with the actual devil.
Yes, we interviewed the devil. READ NOW.
From December 9: Sex robots will be designed to fulfill us in every way, and you won’t believe how.
We go deep inside the sex robot industry to predict the future. READ NOW.
From all year: The best and worst report.
The best. The worst. We explained it all. From company benefits to drunk people.
From all year: Up for grabs.
We offered free creative counsel with ideas for everything from naming your penis to naming an adult website. READ NOW.
Like yoghurt, we keep it cultured actively.